Bite the Bullet

Today sucked.  There, I said it.  For the past 2 months or so, we have really been struggling with Tucker's behavior.  I am unsure if he's just testing limits as a five year old, if he is reacting to foods again, or something else.  He takes on a bully-ish, controlling attitude that refuses to be reasoned with.  It's exhausting.  And it makes me sad. 

Late last year, we put Tucker through some food sensitivity testing called LEAP.  It is similar to allergy testing, but detects sensitivities instead of allergies.  We already know he cannot have any artificial food dyes (I will share more on that someday, complete with video, but I am not emotionally ready to tackle that post quite yet), and I was suspecting other issues with his constant dark undereye circles.  He came back sensitive to some things he was (and still is) ingesting on a regular basis (i.e. wheat, chicken, cocoa, apples, etc.). 

I know that I need to get him on his elimination diet but have been dragging my feet for some reason.  I think I feel overwhelmed by it, even though it really won't be too difficult once we face the initial battle over him being unable to eat "normal" kid foods like PB&J and chocolate. 

He reacts so horribly to food dye, over my dead body would I let him ingest it on purpose.  I am hoping (praying) that by eliminating his triggers left on the list, I will get my sweet boy back.  Just have to bite the bullet and make it happen. 

The First of Many

Tucker graduated from preschool last week, the first of (hopefully) many graduation ceremonies for him.  I started crying during the processional.  When he walked past me, he got the biggest grin on his face and did his quirky wink, fingersnap and thumbs up combo toward me.  However, I really started crying when he brought me a yellow carnation during the first song.  There was something that stung with that....like this is the moment he grows up.  He will start school in the fall and will be in school until he is, essentially, an adult.  Like I am turning the page of his childhood and the new chapter is starting.  (psssst...I am crying again).  

 He wants to be a ninja warrior when he grows up.

Don't blink, Mamas.  It happens way too fast.

Hip to be Square

This morning I handed Tucker three new pairs of shorts to try on, the fist pair was plaid.

 "Mom, this fits perfectly! Is it kind of camouflaged for when you go into a place with a bunch of squares?"

Salvaged

That's how I feel like today went.  I woke up to a disaster of a house....the living room was trashed, dishes were piled up in the kitchen (we don't have a dishwasher.....well, we have one and it's me), laundry piles on the sofa, and the trash smelled like ass.  I was overwhelmed as soon as I walked out of my bedroom.

We were just coming off of over a week of sick, vomiting kids so things had been neglected throughout the week.  I don't deal well with chaos.  It makes me nutty and moody.  And sometimes it's easier for me to stick my head in the sand instead of tackling the tasks at hand.

In my normal ostrich fashion, I opened up the computer and got on Facebook.  One of the first posts I read had the absolute perfect quote for me today,

"You will achieve grand dream, a day at a time, so set goals for each day -- not long and difficult projects, but chores that will take you, step by step, toward your rainbow. Write them down, if you must, but limit your list so that you won't have to drag today's undone matters into tomorrow. Remember that you cannot build your pyramid in twenty-four hours. Be patient. Never allow your day to become so cluttered that you neglect your most important goal -- to do the best you can, enjoy this day, and rest satisfied with what you have accomplished." Og Mandino —

I refocused and made a plan. I put just a few tasks on my to-do list for today....just the essentials to help me regain control over things enough that I wouldn't be mortified if someone came to the door today:  dishes, pick up, take trash out, dust and vacuum.  And taking away the expectation that it all had to be done today helped me so much.  I baby stepped my to do list while Tucker was in preschool and had it all done by the time he was out!  I felt so much better!

The kids and I had a really great day, we played inside and outside, watched a movie and read books together.  We had "I love you more" contests and laughed a lot.  Yep.  I will definitely go to bed tonight knowing I did the best I could, I enjoyed the day and I am satisfied with what I accomplished.

Home Base

Ryan and Tucker have been playing dodge ball with various pillows and stuffed animals lately.  Really, it's more of an all out assault on Tucker while he runs and dives for cover between furniture in the living room.  It's hysterical and he giggles like a little girl during it.

The other day, Ryan was asking Tucker where his "home base" was.  Remember when we were little and played tag in the front yard and there was a base you could run to and be safe?  Yeah, that kind of home base.

Ryan:  Where is your base?
Tucker:  (confused look on his face)  On the piano.



Bass Clef.  Hahahaha!!!!!!!!  He's obviously learning something in his piano lessons!

Happy Birthday, Tucker!

Dear Tucker Shay,

Today you turned five years old!  We are in the middle of the second biggest blizzard Kansas has ever seen and Daddy couldn't wait for you to wake up today!  You came out of your room with a smile on your face, like you always do.  You are such a morning person!  I have no idea how that happened.  You were wearing your "bones" jammies, which are black pajamas with glow-in-the-dark skeleton bones on them.  You usually just sleep in your underwear so you must have been cold last night! 

You climbed up on my lap and sat with me in the rocking chair for a few minutes.  I decided to ask you some questions about what it was like for you to be five, the conversation went like this:

Mommy:  How old are you today, Tucker?
You:  I'm five!!!!
Mommy:  What is your favorite color?
You: Orange (this was a first, you usually say blue!)
Mommy:  Who is your favorite friend?
You:  Garrison (a boy in your preschool class)
Mommy:  What is your favorite food?
You:  Grapes  (Seriously???  What about pizza, PB&J, hamburgers, pancakes, etc.!!!)
Mommy:  What do you want to be when you grow up?
You:  A Dad.
Mommy:  Oh really?  How many kids would you like to have?
You:  One.  A boy baby.
Mommy:  What would you name him?
You:  Austen Scott. 

You are so cute!  Thank you for letting me interview you.  I interviewed you again later in the day with the video camera.  You pretty much stuck to these exact answers though, only exchanging grapes for oranges! 

You spent the day mostly playing in the snow.  Daddy pulled you and Chloe on a sled with the 4-wheeler and you had a great time!  You wanted to go to Pizza Hut for your birthday dinner and luckily they were open!  Most places were closed due to the snowstorm. 

After dinner we came home and you opened your presents from us.  And this is where I beamed with pride.  You were so excited and gracious about every single gift you received.  I was worried that I didn't get you anything really cool, but as it turns out, plastic bugs may have been the coolest gift ever in your little mind!  You thanked us for each thing and showed genuine enthusiasm even when you opened sweatpants.  You are such an exceptional boy!  You are also really excited to start the piano lessons I told you about.

You told us you loved us about a million times before bed and you even indulged me in a hug and kiss at 7:15pm, the time you were born.  I am so proud of you, Tucker.  I am so lucky to be your Mom.  You physically favor your Dad but you have mostly my personality.  You are a little OCD, very organized, you have to know everything that will happen ahead of time, and you ask a bazillion questions a day!  You love preschool and will be our little student.  The sky truly is the limit for you!  I love you so very much baby boy (yes, I still call you that!)! 

Love you forever,
Mommy

Sprinkle Toes

I am loving my idea of using my blog as a replacement for my kid notebooks!  Sorry to those of you who would rather read other ramblings! 

Chloe was sitting at the table for lunch today when a look of panic and pain washed over her face.  She looked down at her foot, looked at me, looked down at her foot and I could tell she was disturbed by something. 

"Chloe, what's wrong with your foot?"

"It's sprinkling!"

Poor dear had been sitting on her foot and it fell asleep, haha!