Austen's Story Part II: You're Gonna Do What?!

The first person I talked to about having an unassisted birth, of course, was Ryan. I asked him what he thought of the idea, trying to feel out if he was going to be supportive of my increasingly hippie ways. He was the one, afterall, that pointed out that we “could have totally done that by ourselves” after Chloe’s birth. He was immediately on board…or so I thought.


After getting his initial support, several weeks later I found out there was a miscommunication. He was under the impression we would be having a midwife attend the birth. When I clarified what an unassisted birth was, he was suddenly unsure and uncomfortable with the idea. He asked me to hire a doula at the very least (and I reminded him that he is a trained EMT). As much as I wanted to make him comfortable with an unassisted birth, I was uncomfortable with inviting someone I did not know to participate in my birth experience. Each of my previous birth experiences taught me that I am the type of person that needs to be left alone during labor and not have anyone unfamiliar around me. During Tucker and Chloe’s labors, any time a change was introduced or a new person came in, my labor would slow and stall out. I knew if I kept the number of people to a bare minimum, the easier and faster my labor and birth experience would be. If I was going to do this, it was going to have to be my way, and that meant just Ryan and my sister, Jill, who was going to come and take pictures for me.


I also ‘fessed up to my Mom. I had asked her to check out some library books for me (she is a library addict and goes weekly) and with my requested titles, it was obvious what I was up to. She was also supportive but as my due date got closer, she expressed concern. I could understand where my parents were coming from. Not only were they concerned about me and my health, but they were also considering how I would cope if, God forbid, things went wrong and there was a bad outcome for the baby. I reassured her as much as I could; I emphasized that I was prepared and willing to go to the hospital at the first sign of trouble or even if I had a gut feeling that I needed to go in at the onset of labor. I was not trying to prove any kind of point by birthing this way and of course a healthy outcome was of utmost importance to me.


The few friends I divulged my secret to were 100% supportive, which was so awesome! It was nice to have some people I could talk to, as the original plan was to never publicly discuss this. I knew if I did, I would be opening myself up to a crap storm of criticism and judgment, and really, who wants to deal with that? Certainly not me! So, why then, am I blogging about it? Well, mostly because we live in the day of social media, coupled with the fact that I live in a small town. I was “outed” on Facebook before I knew it and word spread like wildfire. I figured if I was going to be talked about (and I was), I might as well tell it from my perspective.