Let It Shine or Let It Go?

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. " 

- Marianne Williamson

I had a friend on Facebook post the above quote today and something about it really resonated with me.  


Since moving to our new town almost a year ago, I have found myself "shrinking" my personality down in order to make friends.  Now, don't get me wrong...I am definitely not an extrovert pretending to be an introvert.  I am, and will always be an introvert.  But I have found myself staying quiet during conversations that involve things I'm passionate about (pregnancy, labor, childbirth, breastfeeding, childhood nutrition, etc).  Conversations that if I was having them with friends or family, I would be very animated and outspoken, yet among strangers I remain silent.  I hate that feeling.  I hate walking away from something with the feeling that if I just would have spoken up, I could have helped someone think outside the box. 


I am so afraid of stepping on toes that I am not being my authentic self.  What is the right balance?  Or is there a right balance as long as what you speak is your truth and if people don't like it, they don't have to?  I am really struggling with this because I feel like on some level I have to choose one or the other.  


I am still having a lot of negative self talk regarding my whole "Turd in the Punchbowl" post.  I still think about it every day and if I let it, it can still make me cry. I bared my soul with my birth post, shared a very intimate experience with my readers and I was attacked on a personal level because of it.  I really do feel like a huge bucket of water was thrown on my flame and I guess I'm trying to figure out if the flame can be reignited.